An emotional monologue for the future

I can't believe that only a few days ago I broke up for my summer holidays, 7 weeks of freedom, relaxation and fun. But whilst all of this seems like a positive thing it's meant the end of another year at school. Year 10 is done. Finished. No changing those mock exam grades now. So with the end of year 10 comes the start of year 11. Which for me begins a day earlier then most of my year. Tuesday the 6th of September. My last first day back of the school year in highschool. (Does 6th form count as highschool, I don't feel like it does. It's called 6th form) The fact that I'm starting year 11 this year makes me feel all sorts of things. I'm scared because the thing most of my life has been leading to (for now) is almost here, I have to scourge up everything I have ever learnt, scribble it on a piece of paper and be done with it. My GCSEs done. Before any of that happens though I have to spend months, weeks and days revising. Consolidating all my knowledge. The thought of it right now causes me stress. Although I am excited for it to be over, my GCSEs to be done (I shouldn't get too excited A levels are right around the corner after that) All that homework I've done will have finally done me some good! So to round up, so far I'm feeling: scared and excited. I'm also feeling rather melancholy because this means I have to say some goodbyes. Whether I stay on at my current school or move I'm gonna have to say goodbye to a huge chunk of my life. To people I've known for almost 5 years (once I finish year 11), to my friends, maybe teachers. All these people I've made memories with, all going off to do their own things. Make new friends. I know I'm gonna make new friends to but I can't help but feel mawkish (in a good way). These people have helped me, pushed me, laughed with me. These are friendships unlike the ones we make in primary school, they are linked. Sort of entwined, like a tree as we've grown individually our roots have become tangled. Tears are sure to flow, it's gonna be a struggle for someone so sensitive. Who cries at literally everything. The last day is going to cause me to have a breakdown, I mean if you saw me on my last day of year 6 you would be booking me a room in a hospital ASAP! So our list grows from scared to excited to melancholy. I have a 4th emotion hiding in me. It's worry, I'm worried. Worried about all the change, all the things to come that I'm not used to. New people, new lessons, new subjects and new rules. With age certain responsibilities are handed to you. Your more dependable, trustworthy. So with that I worry because all these years whilst I have been seen as those things, they've never seemed too important because I was younger and the oldest would always be picked first to do anything like that first. So my 4th emotion is worry, I'm worried as to what the future brings, however as I said before I'm excited too. Another emotion Im feeling (which I mentioned earlier) is stress. Sooo much stress, my "To Do List" doubles everyday with the amount of coursework and revision I have to do. I'm constantly stressing over whether it's good enough or if I have enough time to do it. Stressing over whether I'll pass or fail. Stressing over what's gonna happen if I fail. What will my future hold? I do try to keep myself calm though because if I do majorly mess up, exam results aren't everything. I still have a chance to do something with my life. I'm feeling all the emotions it seems as a sneaky 6th feeling has snuck up on me. I feel sentimental, reminiscent, nostalgic. Thinking back to my first day in year 7, I was terrified. Alone. Worried about what was to come. Missing my friends. I pulled through though and I've gotten this far. Year 11 seemed so close but so far then, I still had time to do fun things. I did my homework however I didn't need to revise straight after. As the years have gone past I can't help but cringe at every embarrassing memory that slithers into my mind. To think I was 11 when I started this journey and I'll be 16 when its (almost) over. 5 years doesn't seem too long, although a lot can happen/change in 5 years. Now finally my last emotion I'm feeling is pride, I'm not sure if that's an emotion? It's a feeling. I mean I'm proud of myself for doing so well, for handling everything thrown at me. Grasping every opportunity I had. If I hadn't of done all the things that have made me smile I would of regretted them. I always try to do everything asked of me and more because that's when I feel proud. I'm proud of myself, of my friends. All of our achievements. I'm proud of my friends for helping to shape me into the person I am, they have pushed me into to soo many  (good) uncomfortable situations but they always have supported me. Cheered me on, wished me luck and congratulated them. My friends are the best, all of them. Not only my squad, anyone I have ever spoken to who has been nice to me or helped me. So with that I must tell you I have told a lie ... I do in fact have an 8th emotion/feeling. I feel thankful. To everyone who has got me this far, my friends, teachers, family. Without their (continued) support I definitely wouldn't be doing so well in school. I would be struggling right now, I wouldn't be on a good path for year 11. Which I hopefully am. So yeah to sum this up with the start of year 11 on the horizon I'm feeling  8 emotions: I'm scared, excited, melancholy, worried, stressed, nostalgic, proud and thankful. This next year is sure to have its ups and downs however its going to be such an important part of my journey and have such an impact on my near future.