The final post

For the last few months I have been taking part in different experiences/events in order to earn my DofE award. In order to complete the criteria I needed to take part in something physical, do some form of volunteering and learn a skill as well as completing a lengthy journey (in which I have given great detail about in my previous blogposts). Each of these things have given me different but nonetheless rewarding experiences. 

Firstly I took part in 3 months of physical. For this I chose to take part in a badminton after school club every Friday for 3 months. I am not very sporty so this part of the award was quiet a stretch for me. Volunteering to go and do sports in my free time! I persevered and did it though.  Overall I actually enjoyed it, I had a great time with my friends every Friday. It turns out we are all very competitive. I also managed to make new friends, not only playing with people I knew but others too. This was especially fun as I beat some of them! I also noticed a difference in myself too. Every Friday I would leave school quiet sweaty, red and hot. However I didn't feel bad. I actually felt rather good, energised even. It made be feel better inside and I'm very glad of that. So this section actually exceeded my expectations. 

Secondly I had to take part in 3 months of volunteering. I did this at a local library in which every week I volunteered one day after school. Whilst there I learnt a lot, firstly I was taught about how to organise the library and the different protocols. Also how to use the library computers as well as the main system, this enabled me to help out people by: extending book deadlines, loaning out books and teaching them how to use the library computers. I believe I was very helpful to the people there and I had a positive impact on many members of the community. For example on one occasion a little boy asked me to help with his homework, on another I assisted a women in using a scanner in order to send off paperwork. I learnt so much during my volunteering and I think it has not only helped others around me but myself. I now understand what's it's like to sort of have a job, how to conduct myself and the tasks I would be carrying out. It was really sad after I completed my 3 months as I made great friends with many of the staff working there. However I was told I could come back whenever I wanted! 

Finally I had to learn a skill for 6 months. A very long time indeed in which I ran this blog. Every week I uploaded a new blogpost using a different style of writing or discussing the writing of others through an essay or a book review. Overall I began this blog believing it wouldn't be difficult to upload one post a week but I was so wrong. It has actually been the hardest part of the 3 sections. Finding the time to upload a piece of writing in my free time and balance everything else was difficult. Especially because of how long it took to write just one blogpost. Despite this I managed to do it. I did enjoy having a way to express myself and improve my writing not only on here but in school as well. All that I have done will definitely help me with my upcoming exams. I have enjoyed writing so much, coming up with ideas. Looking for different words or trying to add in hidden messages. Whilst it's been hard it's been so very rewarding. Having all this work to look back on. 

To conclude my DofE experience has been such a very big challenge however I have never enjoyed something so much. It's brought me closer to my friends, allowed me to learn and grow personally and intellectually. I am so proud of everything I have achieved and will look back on the whole experience with nothing but fondness. 

We may never know.

The sky was grey, murky and depressing. The mid February weather caused a great demand of winter clothes for the London people. All wrapped warm in thick, woollen scarves, chunky socks with big boots. Cuddled in long, worn coats in dark colours. Wind blew heavily around the buildings. Compressing the insides into small, safe havens of comfort. People huddled across zebra crossings, waddling on their feet waiting for the light to go red and the air polluting cars to stop. Their chatter echoing through the streets bouncing off of the crooks of alleyways. As they walked they cradled their vivaciously patterned coffee holders, warming their hands wrapped in cream mittens. Strands of hair blowing forcefully around sharp chins and square foreheads, blinding lazy eyes momentarily. 

In the midst of it all was a women, not a conforming women yet still an unnoticed  one. Her hair tied up high in a knot unlike the countless other girls who kept it stuck to their head with a hat, to protect their ears and necks from the cold. Her arms mostly bare in a boxy t-shirt, a thin silky scarf loosely hanging from her neck. Thick black tights clung to her legs, her thighs covered by a tight tartan skirt. Confidently she strutted down the curb, her height meaning she towered over most of the people around her. Still they barely glanced at her for a second. What made her so immune to people's judgey looks ? 

Perhaps it was the way she owned it. We may never know. 

Along with this girl another intriguing character followed closely behind her. A short round man, a beard that almost reached his chest decorated like a christmas tree with silver hairs. A jolly smile spread across his mouth not moving. It seemed he could be hit by a car and that smile wouldn't budge. His smile seemed to be the only thing that made him different from the rest of the people walking down the street. Other then that he was dressed almost the same as the rest of them: mucky brown work boots, a bright red hat dangling of his head with a little cotton ball attached, a thick plaid scarf strangling him and a black knee length coat hugging him tightly. Why was he so happy on a day so dreary? We may never know.

Ahead of our two characters was a young women dragging behind her a rambunctious toddler. Clearly making quite a scene. His red face streamed with tears as he screamed in words that didn't seem English. His mother clearly struggling to control him as she dragged him weakly. Her arms almost giving way. Her eyes dragged about a mile behind her, the bags dark and heavy. Her blueness of them dulled by the sky, streaky blonde hair just peaking through a beanie. A snug red coat wrapped around her but unbuttoned. Her son almost near identical to her. His blonde hair tucked in a small blue hat, a puffy red coat sticking to him uncomfortably with sweat. Although it did bring out his piercing blue eyes. Onlookers stared at the two with dismay. Obviously annoyed that the mum couldn't control her child. She felt the stares but bravely kept her head up high despite the embarrassment she felt. Why she did this? We may never know. 

At the very back of all of them walked a man. Thick black curly hair protruding from his head. His dark complexation contrasting the grey/white sky. His brown eyes darker then his very own brown mittens he was wearing. They were warm like him, they emitted a blazing heat on such an icy day. Headphones tried to flatten his curls and just about did in order to stay on his head. He bounced down the street. His head jiggling from side to side as his massive clown like feet took huge steps. His attitude separated from everyone else who could barely utter a sentence so early in the morning let alone half dance down the street to a poppy beat. He didn't care that he looked a fool in a silver puffy jacket as he sauntered through the crowd. He embodied everything a person wasn't in the morning. Peppy, happy and energised. Why did he act like this? We may never know. 

We can gain a lot from simply looking at someone but not everything. 

A speech for equality

Why we need feminism!

Feminism - the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. 

Feminism has always been a word with a stigma behind it. It causes a lot of controversy. However I believe that it is in fact a basic human right for this word to exist. It stands for the equality of the sexes and nothing else. Throughout history it's a word that many men and women have been afraid to use yet still they found a way to incorporate it into their lives/work. Take Jane Austen, she wrote pride and prejudice in the 1800's a time in which women were married off to husbands to keep the family name going. However in the book she portrays a strong but feminine protagonist, Elizabeth. Many would say she is a feminist as she doesn't let men rule her. She says no. She picks the life she wants. Many from the time wouldn't have understood this message yet still Jane Austen was brave enough to put it out there even if it was hidden. Another example being Jane Eyre, a book about no ordinary women. She is seen as both strong and compassionate in a time where stepping out of the gender norms was forbidden. Furthermore not only did Charlotte Bronte take a risk in creating a character so different to other females in literature at the time. She also had to do it under a male pen name, Currer Bell. Simply because it was unacceptable for females to publish books. To be that educated, she did it in order to beat prejudice. Show men she was capable.

This women faced the wrath of society all to display one important message. Feminism. 

Feminism gets a lot of stigma simply because of the root of the word. Feminism- feminine- female. Such a silly reason not to support a cause. Yes I understand it can seem biased and that its cause is only for the rights of women but it's for the equality of sexes. For men's rights too. The word shouldn't matter, you don't have to call yourself a feminist. Call yourself whatever you want as long as you support and believe in the cause. That both men and women should have the same rights. Should be treated equally.   To be able to act however they want with out judgment or even wear what they want. A word is a word, it has no significance. The meaning is the only important thing. How you pronounce it isn't. 

On the other hand I do understand how some men and women alike can be against feminism, as in the past it has been portrayed as a group of angry women greedy for power. It's been said to neglect men's rights, so I can understand why some don't want to be associated with it. However I believe these people are extremely ignorant and uneducated as they have not taken the time to actually research the cause before dismissing it. The movement does have some negative sides, it has people within that support the cause in controversial ways. But don't all movements and causes? For example we have "black lives matter" in which many protest peacefully against the abuse of the police. Then you have the people who give the cause a negative name as they go around shooting innocent police officers who probably don't share the same views as other racist cops. There are ugly sides to every movement yet it's up to the individual to educate themselves on the topic before forming an opinion. 

Moreover we need feminism now note then ever, there are still over 20 nations which refuse to give women the right to a good education. Countries like Pakistan, Afghanistan, Egypt and Nepal. They refuse to give women a basic human right, to move forward with the time. That's why we need feminism to get women and girls out there learning. In some counties like Dubai where women (men too although it is less strict) are told what to wear when entering the country. It's laws like this that are preventing women from being treated equal to men. We need feminism because in countries like Ireland it's illegal to have an abortion unless the mothers life is at risk. Women can't even control their own bodies, they are not even allowed to  abort the child if they have been raped or molested. This is why we need feminism. How is it fair that women are not allowed to choose what they do with their bodies? It's complete unfair and illogical. 

Men also need feminism because for thousands of years men have been persecuted for acting feminine and not masculine. Still men aren't taken seriously and are afraid to go to the police when they are raped, abused by a partner or molested. They are seen as weak for letting these things happen to them. Yet women can potentially ruin a mans life with a false allegation of rape. Furthermore men aren't encouraged to show their more emotional sides, they have to be emotionless and calm about everything. It's seen as embarrassing to cry. To show a  tender side of yourself. This is a contributing factor as to why the rate of men suffering from a mental illness such as depression is increasing. Men are scared to talk about their feelings. Plus in custody battles women are more likely to gain custody of the child instead of the men simply because of stereotypical and traditional views of mothers looking after the child, men aren't seen as capable. 

To conclude I don't believe feminism is a negative idea. It is a movement that will hopefully have a positive outcome. Yes there is some unwanted negativity surrounding it but still all movements face criticism or bad supporters. People need to focus more on the meaning for the world instead of the actually word. It means equality of the sexes not the take over of the females. I personally think everyone should be a feminist or at least support the quality of the sexes. Yes the genders differ but we are both capable of the same thing. Men and women can be feminists. 

Writing from the past

I jutted back in pain as my lady pulled my corset tightly. My hand pressed softly against my abdomen, sucking in I panted calmly. The cool air leaving my mouth in short breaths. The crisp morn leaving a ghostly wisp behind with each breathe I took. 

"Lady Ford your uncle wishes to speak with you" announced Gregson.

"Send him forward, tell him I am not yet properly clothed. He shall have to speak to me through my screen. Thank you Gregson" I ordered.

"Yes, My Lady. As you wish" he replied.

"Mildred your suffocating me. Steady with the fastenings. I don't want to faint in front of Lord Hasting today. Oh the humiliation would sure to cause my death" I uttered worriedly. 

With a voice as dull as a haystack, Mildred replied "Yes mam, sorry mam" 

A hard yet comforting voice interrupted us as my uncle entered "Lydia, my dearest niece. Where are you?" 

"I'll be with you in a moment uncle. I'm being fitted for the ball tonight. At Duke Howard's country house in Wall-Creake." I whistled giddily.

"Yes I'm Familiar with, Duke Howard. I stayed with him and his sons whilst I was in London. A kind man, his eldest son however frolics about with whom ever he pleases. A real embarrassment to the family name" disgraced my uncle. 

"What a foul boy!" I retched.

I waltzed out from behind my screen and there before me stood my uncle. I twirled my lilac dress swaying behind me, the lace falling softly at my collarbones. The satin trim grazing the oak floors. 

"Dearest, Lydia! Oh how sweet you do look. All the boys in Wall-Creake shall fall before you tonight. None worthy of you though may I add" he smiled.

"Thank you, uncle. May I inquire as to why you have visited at such an ungodly hour? We don't normally concur until at least the mid afternoon, just before your parliament meetings" I queried.

"Can an uncle not visit his favourite niece just because he feels like it? After all you are staying in my house. I have free reign" he questioned back.  

"Please sweet uncle take no offence, it is just not the usual comings that is all." I hastened out. 

"Child do not be so concerned I was merely coming to tell you I am going on a trip. I'll be staying up at Granette house by the coast for a few weeks. I'm unsure as to my return as the business is rather unforeseeable and I have no idea of when it shall be over. Things are to stay as normal whilst I'm gone, your personal allowance shall stay the same. I wish for you to write me letters if there are any necessary update to me made"  barked my uncle. 

"Of course, Uncle Hall. No gallivanting whilst your away. I shall be on my best behaviour" I promised, making eye contact in the mirror as I examined my dress.  

"Very good,I leave the day after tomorrow.  

Now I must bid you good day. A lot of work to attend to at present" said Uncle in a more relaxed tone. 

"Yes dear uncle of course. You must be terrible busy" I replied in haste, wishing him away so I could admire my dress more privately.

After a brief scan of me he turned in a sharp twist and left the room in a march. Skipping childishly to the mirror I watched myself. The stay brown hairs framing my delicate bone structure. The purse of my pale lips as dry as a bone. The deep green of my eyes, darker then a murky lake.  I spun ever so slightly to the side. Gazing at the creases in my dress as it glided gorgeously around my figure. The glimmering bodice laying flat against my stomach and chest. The lace nibbling at my collarbone, jutting out at a sharp angle. In a few hours I would have to leave. The carriage was booked and I had never so anticipated the eventide before. Most of my life I had pondered on how fast a day went by. Now I wished it would move faster. Letting out a string breathe I hurried to my dressing table in small, willed steps. Sitting down I called for Mildred. I must look exquisite tonight. 

A few hours had past. Now late afternoon the sun had begun to sunk. The orange tones fading with the soft pink of the sky, the blue appearing in sharp flicks through out.  

"Lady Ford, I have had word that your carriage is waiting for you" announced Gregson.

"Thank you, Gregson. I shall be out in just a moment" I called. 

Staring at my reflection I couldn't help but obsess at the minor flaws of my look. My hair had fallen slightly flat, the curls laying loosely around the crown of my head. The dress had loss some spark that it had first had. Perhaps wearing it all day allowed me to get too comfortable. A heavy sigh left my chest as I made my way to the doors. 

It took and hour and a half to reach Wall-Creake and another 15 minutes to find Lord Howard's house. Upon arriving I existed the coach in haste. Already late I felt uneasy. A sticky feeling rising in my chest. I hooped up the steps entering through the front door. Greeting me was a small women, a ladies maid perhaps. Behind her was a rather official man in a uniform. I heard the chatter of guests and the clang of glass as I walked through the door. The ball was in full swing the music blaring. 

"Madam, may I take your shall." Squeaked the small women politely. 

With out an answer I began to remove my shall handing it into her old, worn hands. 

A small gesture from her told me to continue on behind her. The man stopped me and spoke. 

"Name please" 

"Lady Louise Ford of Rothen House" I answered.

"Thank you, my lady" he smiled. 

In a booming voice he shouted. "Lady Louise Ford of Rothen House" 

The music slowed down to a hum, the rusting of long coats and voluptuous gowns could be heard as many turned to look at me. I gave a brief smile before entering the room, heading straight for a table full of beverages. 

As I took a sip of the drink, the sweetness overwhelming my senses in a foul way. I pursued my lips. Gazing around the room I saw many dancing or chatting mindlessly. I searched for my friend, Lord Hasting. Yet it seemed he was not here or hadn't arrived yet. 

"Your the niece of that Snollygoster, Lord Hall." Inquired the nasal voice of young man behind me. 

A fierce look welled in my eyes. "He is not a Snollygoster. How dare you cause such offensive when you have not even yet introduced yourself, Sir" I fired. 

"I am James Howard, nephew of Duke Howard who's house you are currently in. I meant no offensive but please do answer my question" he said with such disdain and vileness. 

"I beg your pardon, Sir. I have no reason to answer such an outrageous question. I wish you a well evening" I turned on my heel moving away with haste. I went straight out of the closest door which happened to lead to a garden. I took a deep breath. Such a villain he was. James Howard. Never again would I trust such a name. I steamed. Taking breathes I stared into the dark night. The glittering stars shining down on the small pond amidst the over grown grass. 

I heard a small cough behind me. I whirled my head around. Before me stood a man of tall stature. He had broad shoulder and long, dark hair.  A sharp point for a chin, a thick crease in his forehead and eyes that shone even in the dark. 

"Sorry I was just taking in some air, I'll return inside now" I rushed.

"No, no don't leave of my account. I just overheard what that fellow in there, James Howard was saying to you. I thought you should know it's utter mullock. He's a blithering idiot and knows nothing of politics believe me" his smooth voice made the words whilst informal sound so soothing. 

Stuttering I spoke. 

"Well thank you. I know my uncle is not a bad man. He has morales and principles. I don't listen to fools. This James Howard knows nothing of my uncles politics, or of any of the bills and laws he has tried to have passed. Very uneducated for the nephew of a duke."I glanced at him before turning back to the garden. He wandered closer. 

"Your very well spoken and educated for a women you know" he laughed. 

"Being a women doesn't mean I can't be taught the same as a man" I replied. 

"Very much a thought for the future." He said. 

Curiosity seeped through my voice. 

" I hope you don't mind me asking but you know who I am because of my uncle. I have no idea who you are" I looked into his eyes. 

"I'm Duke William Moore, mam. Best friend of the so called fool." He laughed. 

I turned red. 

Tired

Ella tapped her pen against her mouth, her face squished by the pressure of her hand as she leaned against it. She knew she didn't look too gorgeous at this very moment but all she could think about was how tired she was. Her eyelids were heavy and they begged to be shut. All she wanted was this maths lesson to end, to go home. Twisting her neck towards the clock at the back of the room she saw she still had 20 minutes left. Her eyes floated past the equations on the bored. Not bothering to even try to answer them. For the rest of the lesson she listened to the sound of her teacher droning on and on about the making A the subject. When he finally called to pack up Ella lazily packed away her things. Boredom was still evident in her eyes but a small patch of relief was there too. The bell rang. She drifted out of the room, down the steps and towards the gate gleaming in the sickly yellow sunlight. 

 

"Ella wait for me" shouted Tam from way behind her. Tam was hobbling her way towards Ella at an exaggerated pace. Tam and Ella had been friends since year 7, when they were put in the same English set and form. However lately Ella had been feeling distant from Tam who had suddenly become more interested in her new friends from drama. They just weren't the same together anymore, Tam's life was more exciting whilst Ella was always tired and liked her small friendship group. She didn't want new friends, she didn't want the ones she had now to leave to go to new sixth forms either. She wanted them all to stay together till uni at least. However all Ella wanted right now was for Tam to leave her alone. She wanted to get home. Go to sleep. 

"Ella, how was maths" squeaked Tam in her pitchy voice. 

"Fine I guess" Ella dragged out with false enthusiasm. (She should of picked drama with how good she had become at faking things lately.)

"That's good, well English was great. You'll never guess who Miss sat me next to. Only Marcus. Flipping Marcus. You know I've had the biggest crush on him since like. I don't know year 8?" Shrilled Tam 

"Maybe your get your chance with him this year" Ella smiled. 

"I hope so, well best be off I'm meeting Natalie at the park. She says we need to start looking for prom dresses so we get the best ones. I'll see you later El's" Tam called out behind her as she skipped away from the gates. 

Prom. Ella hadn't even thought about it yet, it was the first day back. Tam was way too excited for something that hadn't even been announced yet. She walked out of the gates and crossed the road. Her journey wasn't too long she lived like 10 minutes from the school, didn't stop her from being late most days though. 

Turning her key in the lock, Ella slammed the front door open hitting the wall and adding more depth to the dent already there. Swinging the door shut behind her Ella rushed up to her room, she dropped her bag on the floor. Collapsing on her bed. Within 10 minutes she was tucked up in her covers (still in her uniform) drifting off to sleep. That was until her phone started screeching from her blazer pocket. 

"Ugh" she groaned. 

Pulling the phone from her pocket, lazily eyeing the blurred name on the screen. It was Tam. They had literally spoken 20 minutes ago what did she want now thought Ella. 

"Hey" muttered Ella answering the phone her eyes slowly starting to close again. 

"Ella I need your help" whispered Tam her voice thick with anxiety. 

"What is it Tam, I'm really busy with all this coursework" lied Ella as she pulled her duvet tighter around her.

"Well it's just Natalie isn't here and ..." 

"Is this really important Tam, if you just want to gossip because your bored and Natalie's left you then ring someone else. I've got to go." Interrupted Ella. 

"No Ella seriously, just stay on the ..." Tam's words were rushed and full of panic. 

"Bye Tam" uttered Ella before she hit the end button, falling asleep almost instantly. 

Almost 4 hours later Ella woke up to her mums soft, sensitive voice. Something was wrong. 

"Ella, babe. We need to talk can you sit up please" soothed Ella's mum. 

"What mum! I'm so tired can't it wait till later" moaned Ella 

"No it can't, it's important. Please Ella" urged her mum. 

"Fine but if it's something stupid I honestly am going to be so angry" stropped Ella, pulling herself into a sitting position her head leaning uncomfortably against her headboard. 

"I need to you to keep calm, Ella. Okay? " Ella knew something was up, her usual fun and `not bothered about anything’ mum was acting strange. Concerned? Anxious even. 

"Your freaking me out mum, just tell me" Ella sat up straight, her fingers twitching nervously in her lap. 

"It's Tam, she didn't come home earlier. She missed her dance club and hasn't rung her mum or dad. No one can get hold of her. Have you heard anything" 

Suddenly a lump grew in Ella's throat, she could feel herself choking on the lie she had told Tam earlier. 

"Um I mean she rang me earlier but she seemed fine. I mean a little bit nervous but she's just shy and anyway I might be wrong we didn't talk for long I was knackered" guilt dripped off of Ella's words. 

"Okay well, I don't want you to panic. Just if you hear anything else from her then tell me. Her mums been ringing the house phone for ages trying to get through and see if she was here. Everyone's really worried" said Ella mums who was carefully stroking Ella's now shaking hands. 

"Yeah I'll let you know, um I've got coursework to do soo yeah." Ushered Ella 

"Alright, just shout if you hear anything at all. Your dinners in the microwave you were asleep when I dished it up" said Ella's mum as she got to her feet, heading for the door. 

"Uh hm, I'll have it later" muttered Ella wanting her mum to leave. 

As soon as she was gone Ella rummaged around her bed on all fours looking for her phone. 

Clunk. It had fallen on the floor. Almost throwing herself down with it, Ella grasped the phone unlocking it immediately. 6 missed calls from Tam's mum, 3 from from Tam, 10 unanswered text messages from her and 1 voicemail too. Along with the usual notifications from Twitter and Facebook. Rushing with her shaky hands Ella quickly opened the texts. Her eyes bulged with panic as she read each one. 

 

Ella please pick up 

ELLA! 

Please I need help. I don't want to gossip.

El's there's a man. He's following me.

He won't go Ella.

He just pulled up and followed me to the park. 

I don't know where Natalie is. 

I'm so scared he keeps getting closer. 

Please pick up 

Ella please. 

Almost dropping her phone from her shaking hands, Ella opened up the voicemail Tam had left. 

"Hey Ella, your not answering right now but I was just wondering where you are. You said you would be here 5 minutes ago and my mums coming really soon to get me. Anyway yeah so umm.." Ella could tell this was all a rouse, Tam was trying to scare whoever this guy was away. 

"Umm yeah so please hurry up. Like please hurry up or pick up. Or something. ELLA PLEASE!"Her voice slowly got quieter and quieter. 

"Ella he's getting closer. I don't know what to do. I can't run. Nobody's here. Ella I'm so scared." Whispered Tam 

Within an instant though her voice changed from almost silent to shrieking. 

"ELLA PLEASE PICK UP! NO NO LET GO OF ME! STOP! PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS! LET GO OF ME, ELLA!" Tam was screaming. Ella could hear as the man grabbed Tam's black puffy coat. She heard it crinkle under his finger tips. She heard his rough, foreign accent furiously trying to shut Tam up. She heard every thwack as Tam was hit. Every crunch of his heavy boots as they hit a bone whilst he kicked her. His grunts of anger, of desperation, of hate. The final thing she heard was an ear piercing screech from Tam. That was the final thing before the message ended. Possible the last sound she would ever hear come from her best friends mouth. 

Ella's mouth went dry. Her eyes started to well with tears, reliving every moment of that message. Why hadn't she stayed on the phone. She was so stupid and selfish. Why did she have to lie. It's her fault she thought. Tam could be dead because she was tired and didn't want to stay on the phone. A sob erupted through her body as she screeched "MUM!"  

Whilst sitting with her phone in her hand. Her eyes locked on the black screen. 

Staring blankly. 

Within seconds she heard her mums heavy, panicked footsteps running up the stairs. 

A yummy recipe

Chocolate Cupcakes 

(This recipe makes 32 singular cupcakes; however if you follow the decorating steps you will be left with 16 cupcakes)

Ingredients: 

Flour - 280g

Caster sugar - 400g 

Cocoa powder - 80g 

Baking powder - 2 teaspoons 

Salt - 1 teaspoon 

2 eggs 

Milk - 225ml 

Lemon 

Oil -225ml

Vanilla extract 

Boiling water - 225ml 

Butter - 340g 

Icing sugar - 560g

Glacier cherries 

Equipment: 

Measuring jug 

Large mixing bowl 

Scales 

Wooden spoon 

3x Metal spoons 

Cupcake cases 

Baking tray

Measuring spoons 

Knife 

Sieve 

Kettle 

Large glass 

Piping bag 

1. Firstly measure out 225ml of milk with a measuring jug and pour it into a glass. 

2. Secondly cut your lemon in half and add one squeeze to your milk. Making sure not to drop in any pips. Leave it to sit for half an hour. 

3. Whilst your milk is waiting you can measure out your other ingredients with your scales and measuring spoons. 

4. After half an hour preheat your oven to 140 degrees celsius. 

5. Then add your flour, sugar and cocoa powder to a bowl (making sure to sieve both the flour and cocoa powder) and mix together using your wooden spoon. 

6. Next add in your baking powder and salt, stir again. 

7. Once your dry ingredients have been incorporated add 2 eggs to the mixture along with the milk and oil. Plus add in 1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract. 

8. Combine the wet and dry ingredients to create a thick mixture. 

9. After all the ingredients have been incorporated boil the kettle and add   225ml of hot water to the rest of the      mixture. Make sure to stir quickly so                      the eggs do not cook. 

10. Place your cupcake cases on your baking tray (this recipe should make 32 singular cupcakes). 

11. Using one metal spoon to scoop some of the mixture and the another to catch any falling mixture place 2 large spoonfuls of mixture into each case. 

12. Once all of your cases are full place the tray in the oven for 20-25 minutes. You will know the cakes are done if when you poke a knife inside, it comes out clean. 

13. Whilst the cakes are baking you can make a start on your icing. First measure out your butter and icing sugar. 

14. Add your butter to a large bowl and mix vigorously to soften it. 

15. Once your butter is soft begin to add in the icing sugar in small quantities. Mixing throughly before adding the next load. 

16. After your icing fully incorporated it should be light and airy. To finish add in 1 teaspoon of vanilla and stir again. 

17. Put all of your icing into a piping bag and place this in the fridge until your cakes are baked and cool. 

18. Remove the cakes from the oven, leaving them too cool down for at least 1 hour. 

19. Take one of your cakes and pipe a layer of icing on top of it. 

20. Next remove another cake from its case and place this on top of the other cake. 

21. Pipe a small dot of icing to the top of the cake in order to secure your 2 cherries.  

22. Finally use a sieve to lightly dust some icing sugar over the top of the cake. 

Acrostic poetry

I am ...

Intent on being happy 

Amazingly talented at making my friends laugh 

Madly in love with period dramas 

Seriously devoted to my education 

Procrastinations number one fan despite this

Exasperating at times 

Cautious when it comes to making decisions 

Inspiring apparently 

Accepting of anyone and everyone 

Living my life in fast forward currently 

Immensely proud of all my achievements 

Notorious for speaking too much 

Mega obsessed with the royal family 

Young yet mature... mostly 

Open to trying new things 

Warmhearted 

Nervous a lot of the time  

Weird but wonderful 

A good secret keeper 

Yearning to learn everything I can 

Appalling at maths 

Not one to give up 

Determined to make positive changes  

Imaginative 

Likely to be found reading a book 

Impulsive when it comes to changing my hair style 

Kind of sleep deprived

Extra, as the kids would say 

Worried about the future 

Half, that's literally what my name means 

Observant of my surroundings 

Interested in all of history 

Actually quite good at pulling off pranks 

Mindful of others 

The "figure" and him.

The wind grazed his skin, vexing around him. Surrounding him. It watched as he stumbled home, tripping on his broken sole. His mind trembled with emotion. He blocked out the world. Ignoring the sharp tongued wind and the stabbing splash of rain just beginning to fall. He was dazed, a stomach full of bubbling alcohol. A mind full of bubbling thoughts. He didn't hear the footsteps behind him at first, not until the rain started to fall heavily. They began to grow louder. Echoing in the puddles forming on the gravel. 

The alcohol had consumed him though, the footsteps didn't seem important. They were quite calming. Every splatter creating a beat. He kept walking, growing fond of the sound. It soothed him, left him dazed. More dazed then the alcohol had. His steps became more messy. The uneven path becoming more of a struggle. The soaking ground started to blur into grey. Swaying side to side he slowed down. Coming to a halt all together. The footsteps stopped. His head banged and his stomach growled viciously. No longer able to see he bent forward trying to steady himself but his drunken state left him laying on the floor. Wet and confused. The splatters began again, the pounding of hard leather against crumbling gravel. The grating sound pierced through his ears and he keeled onto his side. Abruptly the footsteps stopped. So did the rain. A darkness washed over his entire self. He felt nothing, he always felt something. Even if it was a little something. Now he only felt alone... Hopeless.

His eyes blinked open. A figure stood above him. Completely black, it didn't seem human. He saw a glint of glimmering silver and started to shift away. Crawling backwards in a hazed speed. His hands shredding, the gravel drawing blood. The figure watched curiously... Not moving. Yet still edging the silver object from his pocket out. In a scramble he was on his feet. The blackness pulled out the shiny object. A knife. Slick and sharp. It's desire to take life was evident. He could feel it's cravings for blood. It was alluring. He wanted to get closer but his whole body screamed with fire to leg it. So he did. Not quick enough in his intoxicated state though. The figure managed to slice a clean chunk of human flesh from his side. He limped as fast as he could away, pressing his hand to the broken flesh. He felt the current red blood dripping from his side. Leaving a trail. He was almost like a snail, leaving a pathway to follow. Moving slowly. Giving the figure a chance to crush his shell. 

He looked back still dragging himself as fast as he could but the figure just walked at a causal pace. Wiping his blade across his sleeve, the blood glinting in the moonlight. It was hypnotising. He couldn't tell if everything that was happening was real. If his drunk state was making him imagine this. The figure looked up and he could feel his smirk even-though he couldn't see it. It sped up, each leg pumping forward. Faster with every step. He tried to run, his side shrieking in agony. It ripped as he run.   He was running as fast as he could. Every tear of his skin burned like fire. With aching legs he had to slow down. Ready to give up he turned. Grabbing his side he crouched down. Giving himself to the darkness. Afraid yet longing for death. The figure was close behind, it was hovering above him within moments. Stealing all memories of joy and goodness. 

Leaning down the figure looked deep into his eyes, he could tell it saw his pain. His grief. A sharp flick hit is chin. The blood trickling down his neck. Another stab to his chest came moments after. One to his arm. Another to his leg and another and another. One more to his right arm. One in his left side. The final one right through his gut. Seeming to have no conscience left the figure leaned in closer. It spoke. "I'll leave you here to bleed but you won't die. I won't take you from the pain your feeling inside. I want you to suffer. I want to bring you to the brink. Let you survive then drag you back again. Give you a glimpse of happiness. Then snatch it back. Your craving for death won't be fulfilled for a long time. I'll never leave you, no doctor can ever heal you completely. Because I'll be watching you making sure your never whole." The words leaked with pure evil, anger and hatred. It stood above him one last time watching him before stalking away with the glimmering knife dripping at his side. 

He laid on the path, feeling the blood drain from all the holes in his body. It seeped through his fingers, thick and gloopy. It was the darkest red, darker then mahogany. It poured from him all over the ground. The grey and red mixing in a deadly shade of black. That's how he felt black. Empty. No fear, no pain. He just felt an overwhelming sense of darkness. He knew that tomorrow he would wake up fine. This had happened before, the alcohol had just messed with his brain. He would wake up alone again. Sad, depressed and empty. He would search for good only to find a bottle of whisky instead. That would have to do. 

Sisters

Scene 1 - Missing 

Aden and Bethany are sisters. They are fighting over Bethany's top that has gone missing. They are in the kitchen.

Aden

Beth, I promise you I didn't take your top. I wouldn't be caught dead in that raggedy old thing. Stripes are for hot sailors not fashion statements! 

Bethany

*sporadic, angry hand gestures* 

Well I'm sorry but I don't think either Mum or Dad could fit in that top and well Spence is 9 ... Not sure he is into stripes and frills. That means your the only one left who could of taken it. 

Aden 

Have you checked your wardrobe properly. You wear glasses for a reason Beth! 

*Aden cackles*  

Bethany 

Glasses have nothing to do with it. It's not in my wardrobe, I didn't even have to check there. I know for a fact I put it in the wash last week. 

Aden 

*annoyed tone*

There you go mystery solved it's still in the wash! 

*Aden starts to become annoyed by Bethany's accusations*

Bethany

*shouting* 

It's not there, I checked the dirty and clean washing. So someone must have taken it. The only person that could of is you! Why are you making this so difficult. Just give it to me. 

Aden 

*shouts back* 

I don't have your stupid top, you have others anyway. Stop blaming me. 

*Aden storms out of the kitchen* 

*Mum (Julie) enters* 

Julie 

Why are you and Aden shouting. It's 9 in the morning, your dad got home from work late last night. I thought you two were more respectful then this. 

*opens fridge door and starts making breakfast* 

Bethany 

Sorry mum, but my stripy top with the frills is gone. I can't find it and I need it for later. I'm going out. I know Aden has it. 

Julie 

Well I washed it so it should be with the clean washing. Why can't you just wear another top?, you have plenty of others. 

Bethany 

*annoyed and stressed* 

Yes but I want to wear that one. It's not in the clean washing. I checked. I know Aden has it, she is such a brat. She could borrow it if she just asked. 

*runs hands heavily down face in anger* 

Julie 

*sternly*

If anyone is being a brat Beth it's you, your sister isn't a liar. Stop throwing names around and go apologise and I'll have a look for your top. Your not going out for ages anyway. There's no need for all of this fighting. 

*makes direct eye contact with Beth* 

Bethany 

Fine. 

*groans in annoyance*

*stomps out of the kitchen* 

Julie 

*shouting*

You can apologise to your dad too for your shouting!

*still making breakfast* 

Scene 2 - Liar 

*Bethany knocks on Aden's bedroom door* 

Aden 

Come in.

*Bethany enters, hovers by the door* 

Aden 

Oh I didn't know it was you. You can leave if your gonna question me again. 

Bethany 

I'm not here to do that. I came to apologise, I'm sorry for accusing you. My top will turn up. I shouldn't have blamed you for it being missing. 

*crosses arms and leans against the door* 

Aden 

I accept your apology even-though I'm pretty sure mum forced you into it. 

*walks towards Bethany*

Bethany 

She did and she said we have to say sorry to dad too. We woke him up with all our shouting. 

Aden 

Crap, I forgot he got in late last night. Well we can do it when he wakes up, no point doing it now. We'd just be waking him up again. 

*puts hand on door* 

Bethany 

Yeah your right, I'll let you get back to whatever your doing. 

*steps out of room* 

Aden 

Alright. 

*closes door* 

*Aden walks over to her closet and opens it pulling out a striped, frilly blue top with a huge red stain down the front* 

*Julie enters without knocking* 

Julie 

Aden are you sure you haven't seen Bethany's top? I looked in the washing and I thought maybe you took it by accident ... 

*Julie looks to the top in Aden's hand* 

Aden 

*nervous*

Mum I can explain. It's just ...

*Aden walks towards Julie* 

*Julie shuts the bedroom door* 

Julie 

Aden, why did you lie? One thing I didn't think you where was a liar. I'm so disappointed, your sister apologised to you when she was right all along. What happened to the top? 

Aden

*walks to her bed and sits, Julie stands by the door* 

I borrowed it last week... without asking when I went out with Gracie and Alex. I was gonna wash it for her and give it back but I accidentally spilt Ribena all down the front of it. I've washed it twice! But the white stripes have just gone ... pink. I didn't know what else to do. 

*Aden fidgets* 

Julie

Aden you should of just told Beth, she is going to be more angry now. Not as angry as I am that you lied though. We can get this stain out, it would of been gone the first time you washed it if you had just brought it to me. Honestly Aden she is your sister and this is just a top (*Julie motions to top*), Bethany wouldn't stop talking to you for the rest of your life. Being honest would of made this whole situation easier. 

Aden 

I know. I just didn't want to get in trouble, sorry for lying I won't do it again. Plus I'll go tell Beth right now. 

*Aden rises quickly* 

Julie 

Wait Aden, let's get this stain out first then you can tell her. 

Aden

Okay. 

*both exit* 

Scene 3 - Forgive 

*Bethany enters the kitchen, Julie and Aden are in the kitchen also* 

Bethany 

Hey, so mum did you find my top cause I have to start getting ready or Lucas and I are going to miss the film. 

Julie 

Yes I found your top. However I think Aden needs to have a word with you first before you start getting ready. 

*Julie exits whilst handing Bethany the top* 

Bethany

*Edging slowly out of the room* 

Make it quick I've got to go. 

Aden 

I don't want to you be angry. 

*steps from foot to foot nervously* 

Bethany 

I won't, just come on hurry up. 

Aden 

*speaks quickly* 

I lied, I had your top all along. I accidentally spilled Ribena down it last week when I borrowed it. I couldn't get the stain out and I know I should of asked to borrow it I'm sooo sooo sooo sorry Beth. 

Bethany 

*staring blankly* 

You had it all along. You made be apologise. Your such an idiot Ade. 

I thought I was going mad, you should of told me I wouldn't of minded. I'm kind of upset that you think so little of me, that I would get so angry over something so minor. 

Aden 

I'm sorry Bethany I just know you love that top and you where so angry earlier when you couldn't find it. 

*looks down to the floor* 

*Bethany walks towards her and touches her shoulder* 

Bethany 

I'm not mad Aden, I forgive you. Your my sister! Just ask next time. Also don't lie to me, I was so stressed about it earlier I could of done without all this. 

Aden 

I won't lie to you again. I promise 

*Both girls smile and hug eachother before Bethany exits in a rush leaving Aden alone in the kitchen* 

*Julie enters* 

Aden 

You were right mum. 

Julie

I don't know why you bothered lying in the first place, she would of forgiven you anyway. She's your sister. 

An emotional monologue for the future

I can't believe that only a few days ago I broke up for my summer holidays, 7 weeks of freedom, relaxation and fun. But whilst all of this seems like a positive thing it's meant the end of another year at school. Year 10 is done. Finished. No changing those mock exam grades now. So with the end of year 10 comes the start of year 11. Which for me begins a day earlier then most of my year. Tuesday the 6th of September. My last first day back of the school year in highschool. (Does 6th form count as highschool, I don't feel like it does. It's called 6th form) The fact that I'm starting year 11 this year makes me feel all sorts of things. I'm scared because the thing most of my life has been leading to (for now) is almost here, I have to scourge up everything I have ever learnt, scribble it on a piece of paper and be done with it. My GCSEs done. Before any of that happens though I have to spend months, weeks and days revising. Consolidating all my knowledge. The thought of it right now causes me stress. Although I am excited for it to be over, my GCSEs to be done (I shouldn't get too excited A levels are right around the corner after that) All that homework I've done will have finally done me some good! So to round up, so far I'm feeling: scared and excited. I'm also feeling rather melancholy because this means I have to say some goodbyes. Whether I stay on at my current school or move I'm gonna have to say goodbye to a huge chunk of my life. To people I've known for almost 5 years (once I finish year 11), to my friends, maybe teachers. All these people I've made memories with, all going off to do their own things. Make new friends. I know I'm gonna make new friends to but I can't help but feel mawkish (in a good way). These people have helped me, pushed me, laughed with me. These are friendships unlike the ones we make in primary school, they are linked. Sort of entwined, like a tree as we've grown individually our roots have become tangled. Tears are sure to flow, it's gonna be a struggle for someone so sensitive. Who cries at literally everything. The last day is going to cause me to have a breakdown, I mean if you saw me on my last day of year 6 you would be booking me a room in a hospital ASAP! So our list grows from scared to excited to melancholy. I have a 4th emotion hiding in me. It's worry, I'm worried. Worried about all the change, all the things to come that I'm not used to. New people, new lessons, new subjects and new rules. With age certain responsibilities are handed to you. Your more dependable, trustworthy. So with that I worry because all these years whilst I have been seen as those things, they've never seemed too important because I was younger and the oldest would always be picked first to do anything like that first. So my 4th emotion is worry, I'm worried as to what the future brings, however as I said before I'm excited too. Another emotion Im feeling (which I mentioned earlier) is stress. Sooo much stress, my "To Do List" doubles everyday with the amount of coursework and revision I have to do. I'm constantly stressing over whether it's good enough or if I have enough time to do it. Stressing over whether I'll pass or fail. Stressing over what's gonna happen if I fail. What will my future hold? I do try to keep myself calm though because if I do majorly mess up, exam results aren't everything. I still have a chance to do something with my life. I'm feeling all the emotions it seems as a sneaky 6th feeling has snuck up on me. I feel sentimental, reminiscent, nostalgic. Thinking back to my first day in year 7, I was terrified. Alone. Worried about what was to come. Missing my friends. I pulled through though and I've gotten this far. Year 11 seemed so close but so far then, I still had time to do fun things. I did my homework however I didn't need to revise straight after. As the years have gone past I can't help but cringe at every embarrassing memory that slithers into my mind. To think I was 11 when I started this journey and I'll be 16 when its (almost) over. 5 years doesn't seem too long, although a lot can happen/change in 5 years. Now finally my last emotion I'm feeling is pride, I'm not sure if that's an emotion? It's a feeling. I mean I'm proud of myself for doing so well, for handling everything thrown at me. Grasping every opportunity I had. If I hadn't of done all the things that have made me smile I would of regretted them. I always try to do everything asked of me and more because that's when I feel proud. I'm proud of myself, of my friends. All of our achievements. I'm proud of my friends for helping to shape me into the person I am, they have pushed me into to soo many  (good) uncomfortable situations but they always have supported me. Cheered me on, wished me luck and congratulated them. My friends are the best, all of them. Not only my squad, anyone I have ever spoken to who has been nice to me or helped me. So with that I must tell you I have told a lie ... I do in fact have an 8th emotion/feeling. I feel thankful. To everyone who has got me this far, my friends, teachers, family. Without their (continued) support I definitely wouldn't be doing so well in school. I would be struggling right now, I wouldn't be on a good path for year 11. Which I hopefully am. So yeah to sum this up with the start of year 11 on the horizon I'm feeling  8 emotions: I'm scared, excited, melancholy, worried, stressed, nostalgic, proud and thankful. This next year is sure to have its ups and downs however its going to be such an important part of my journey and have such an impact on my near future. 

The final assessment!

Last weekend I finally completed my Duke of Edinburgh and whilst it was one of the most difficult and terrifying weekends of my life, I have never felt more proud of myself. I made so many memories with my team. I know I'll look back on the whole weekend with nothing but joy. 

We left on Friday evening and it took about 3 hours to get there, but we all made the journey fun. Discussing our work experience which we had just finished that day and stopping off at McDonald's for dinner. When we finally arrived it was still quite early, but we still got straight to building our tents. 

It seemed my friends and I had grabbed a dodgy one, it was missing part of a pole and the zip was broken so we couldn't close it. We only noticed this after we had built and pegged it. We ended up having to take it down and build another one ... In the dark. After that hassle was over we settled in for the night. Nervous for the day to come as our practise assessment had been painful and exhausting. Although we were better prepared this time, we made sure we packed light and dressed warm. Plus we bought tonnes of socks as they are the key to surviving dofe. We set off quite early. Our first part of the walk was over a collection of huge cliffs right next to the ocean.

Going down a steep pathway I took my first fall ... Brilliant. 

We shortly took a break to re-energise and kept walking, we managed to get ourselves a tad lost. However after a quick group consult we where back on track and walked up the steepest hill. We all collapsed as soon as we reached the top! Our next part of the journey consisted of a very long walk through a massive, smelly, mucky and sheep covered field. 

I was surprised to find that almost every person we met was extremely friendly, everyone said hello and

commented on how massive our bags were! It was very heartwarming. We kept going and after a few hours (out of the field) we hit our half way point! We where at corf castle.

 Corf castle is a beautiful decaying castle with a lot of rich history. We met up with our group leader (before this I fell once again and ripped my leggings!)  and after a quick break we set off once again on our final part of the trip. We went though a wet, muddy forest for about an hour before we finally got back to the camp site. We built our tents (a new one, not broken) and ate some dinner. After that we cleaned up and showered and played some games with the other groups before heading to bed. I actually felt quite good. It wasn't as painful as last time, I was feeling confident about the Sunday. Ready to get it over and done with. 

We woke up extra early the next day, keen to get going. We dressed warm as the weather wasn't being so kind to us that day. After packing up our tents for the final  time we were off on our adventure. The walk started well, it was very slippery though. The mud was thick in the woods and you sunk with every step so navigating a safe pathway was difficult. Soon we where out of the woods and at our first check point. We met up with our leader, after a quick chat we set off again past a cute little train station. 

Things were looking positive until we reached the hill (it makes me sick to think about it right now), it was the tallest, steepest hill I had ever seen. It looked like an actual mountain (just to add I had joked about climbing the hill half an hour before we had reached it, I didn't think it was on our route!) I was petrified to climb it as whilst I am not scared of heights I'm scared of being up high with nothing to hold or falling from somewhere high. We climbed up the smallest, slippery steps, edging higher and higher. The view was quiet incredible, the sound of a church-bell could still be heard.  After reaching the end of the pathway of steps I was exhausted! Yet I wasn't even at the top of the hill yet. It just kept going and going. I walked up in very slowly, trying to keep my grip as my heavy bag was being pushed by the strong wind making me wobble. When I finally reached the top I could see nothing, the fog encased the whole group and we could only see a few steps ahead of us. 

We walked across a series of hills for about and hour and a half, stopping at one of our checkpoints and meeting many friendly bikers along the way. The pathway seemed to never end and we where getting more cold and more wet by the minute. 

Although when finally we started moving downhill everything was a whirl. We reached our checkpoint, had a quick meet with our leader. Then we where off on our final stretch. 

The end of our last trip had been the hardest part of the whole thing but after pacing ourselves and preparing a lot more it was a lot easier this time. It was painful, yet we got through it. We made it to the end, celebrating when our school van finally came to pick us up at the end of our very very long walk. The journey home was long, we all had a nap. When we pulled up to the school everyone just couldn't wait to get home. 

Duke of Edinburgh has been one of the biggest challenge of my life so far, but it's been an incredible experience. I pushed myself in ways I never thought I could, I faced fears. Built stronger relationships with my friends, who pushed me out of my comfort zone. I made so many funny memories with everyone, that weekend will forever be one of my proudest moments in my life. 

Body Positivity

Young girls and boys are more active on social media then ever before. With new social networking sites and ways to share popping up all over the place these young minds are influenced by everything and anything. Over many years the ideal body shape has been twisted and tweaked. Due to this "ideal" shape being portrayed so heavily in the media it has created a negative view to anyone who doesn't conform to it. Hence forth we have body shaming. 

Body shaming can be done by other people, such as friends, family and even strangers. It involves insulting someone for simply being shaped differently or even just negatively commenting on someone's weight or size. Some people don't even realise it's happening to them, especially when it comes from a close friend or family member.

The reason it has become such a concern for young people is because it's happening a lot more on social media and kids everywhere are seeing it. Accepting it. Not fighting it. Society has always obsessed over how much you weigh and how thin/small you are. Which leaves a big problem for larger people or curvier people. People shaped differently. People with wider hips or shoulders. Tall girls and short men. (Men are supposed to me tall and women shorter then men. Yep that's sexist. I know!) These teenagers are exposed to these things by the media, social networking sites, celebs, family and even school.  

The comments they hear downgrading body types starts to effect their own body images. They start to feel as if they should change. They become uncomfortable in their own skin and sometimes they even start to body shame others themselves. Having such a negative view of yourself can lead to all sorts of things, such as eating disorders and mental health issues. Society's standards are unrealistic as most men and women don't conform to the "ideal" shape and only a small minority actually fit it. Because of this photoshop has become normal to use in the media and online. This is such a negative thing to be showing such young minds, allowing them to be sucked into the false images of their fave celebs. They are forced to aspire to certain body shapes that don't actually exist in the real world. Also giving these young people access to these tools let's them change their selves to make others like them, it doesn't allow them to accept and love their bodies. 

A lot of body shaming is aimed towards larger/curvier men and women. Body shaming trolls excuse their disgraceful comments by calling these people "unhealthy" "unfit". Telling people not to love them selves because being that size causes health issues and they should be ashamed to show their bodies. (Key phrase: "Their bodies") However I have never understood this mentality because you can't shame someone into changing their body. It's a personal decision to make, and even if they are unhealthy or unfit do they not deserve to love themselves and be happy. Just because they are bigger and perhaps unhealthy doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to show off what they look like. Many larger or curvier people may be unhealthy and sharing a nice picture or themselves isn't them endorsing their lifestyle. It's them being positive and loving themselves. Also how many times do I have to repeat, curvy does not equal unhealthy and thin doesn't equal healthy. 

Whilst the media/social networking sites are full of body shaming society has slowing been moving towards a more accepting attitude towards people of all shapes and sizes. With more plus size models, questioning of unhealthy body images/role models and celebration of different body types the world is ever so slowly moving some where positive for all. But alas the Internet is still plagued with hateful comments telling people to "lose weight" or "cover up". So how can we change this? Here are a few ideas: 

1. Influences 

There needs to be more positive influences online/in the media. More focus on a mix of body shapes not just the same shape over and over again. The fashion world needs to be more accepting of bigger men/women, catering for their needs in all shops not special ones for plus size. Also they need to question what plus size is because it definitely isn't a size 12. While we are at it can we eradicate the use of the word plus size, it's so oppressive (I know I have used it a lot in this article but that is due to lack of a better word.) Furthermore society needs to stop pressuring women into being thin to fit in, and instead idolise being healthy. Women and men of all shapes and sizes should be treated the same everywhere.  

2. Role models

We need a variety of good role models, who spread good messages, who focus on body positivity and can help better young people. A good role model for young girlscould be Meghan Trainor, who recently deleted a whole music video after finding out someone photoshopped her without her say. She later re-uploaded the original video and addressed that she loves the way she looks. She don't need no photoshop.  

A good role model for young boys could be Prince Fielder who slammed body critics who called him plus size after posing nude on a sports magazine. He said being big doesn't mean you can't be athletic and that's very true. 

3. Positive movements/groups 

 

A relatively new event at the moment is the "golden confidence pool party".

Which involved larger women going to a private pool part and wearing their swimsuits with pride. It's all about accepting yourself and being part of a positive group.

 Another movement is "the body positive" which is a group that specialises in teaching people of all ages self care and giving them the confidence to complete their life goals. It does this through training sessions and workshops. Finally a final group working towards getting rid of negative body images is the intersectional body image organisation "Adios barbie" which focuses on redefining  beauty and power. 

So what are some are some ways to expose a body positive lifestyle to young people and what are ways to teach them not to body shame. Firstly we simply have talking to them, explain to them what body shaming and body image is. Give them ways to fight off negative comments and stand up for others. Moderate their social media and try to get them interested in good role models. Help them teach their friends how to love and except themselves. Finally let them be their selves, wear what they want, like different things. Don't force them to conform to the trends and what's in style or what fits their body shape. 

To conclude body shaming can lead to so many negative paths so it's up to us to break the social structures set in and love ourselves.

A letter from the frontline

Dear Martha

I'm writing to you to let you know the war is going quite well, they expect it to be over by Christmas which is a relief. I might make it back in time for the birth of the baby. The lads are excited by the news of the end to this violence, all of the trenches buzzed with the sound of hope after they told us. An old officer by the name Calvin even got us all singing an old song. I can't for the life of me remember the name of it but our hearts where full of cheer after that. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again my love, I missed you before I had even left you.

I know your concern for my return grows everyday and the worry our child will grow up without a father consumes you but I will make it back for both of you. Your letters give me the strength to fight dear, but the more bleak they get the harder it is for me to be so hopeful. Please keep your spirits up as without your letters I fear my will to live will fade. It's so awful here and I need your words to keep me going. My darling don't worry so much. If your letters of love continue my fight to survive will.

Regarding your query from your previous letter, my trench foot has started to clear. The oils and socks have helped so very much, I feel such sorrow for the boys who don't have someone as caring as you at home. Looking out for them from so far away. Loving them from such a distance. 

Hopefully I won't have to live like this for much longer. 

Whilst I am trying to keep both of our spirits up I do have some dreadful news my love. Whilst you may already know what I am going to say as I'm not sure when this letter may get to you, and you know news like this spreads around the village quickly. But I must tell you as its tearing my brain apart. Our friend John Paisley passed last night, we where attacked by the Germans on Monday. They threw mustard gas into the trenches, John was hit by it first. He didn't get his mask on in time. Most of his body was covered in blisters and sores, he couldn't stop screaming and coughing when he woke up. I Believe the pain must of been unimaginable. He just wasn't strong enough, the pain was too much for him. He died in his sleep, the officers told us this morning. Don't worry about me though I was fine. I managed to get far away from the gas although I do have a slight cough. I ask you to keep his wife, Mary company, try to console her. Her sorrow will be heavy and she will need a kind hearted friend like you my love. 

Your forever on my mind, I love you unconditionally. Please send love to my parents and sister. Also send my regards to Johns wife, he was a great man and a brave solider. This will all be over soon my dear. We will soon be together again. 

From your husband 

Thomas 

xxxxxxxxxx

A hill

She walked along the top of the hill, the fog engulfing her tiny figure. She felt her mud soaked feet sink into the viscous earth with every step she took. She was cold, wet and exhausted. Every time she moved her whole body screamed from the ache, every slap of wind caused an eruption of trembling nerves. Her body shook with the wintry wind, the layers she wore had done nothing to protect her. They were useless. More of a burden then an aid. The rain had soaked them, weighing her down like she was carrying rocks in her pockets. How she wished to tear them off and embrace the malevolent air. The thought was refreshing but she knew in the long term it would do more harm then good. Whilst the weight would lessen the cold would gnaw at her more. 

She tried to take her mind off of it all. Off of the pain from the bag she kept strapped tight to her bones, she tried to stop thinking about the shiver she felt in her blood and the smothering cling of her wet clothes to her body. She started to listen to the sounds around her, ignoring the pain she felt at a constant. She heard the agonising howls of the wind blowing from the west right into her face, it was as if there was a raging fight happening right in front of her. She heard the scratching of tree branches crawling along. Trying to escape the hill just like her. She heard the trickle of their blood squelch beneath her feet and began to hear the pitter patter of the skies tears as they fell onto her. She could hear the skies vexed moans and woeful sobs. It too was trying to leave this  treacherous place. 

The sounds failed to disillusion her pain, if anything they increased her mental pain. All she felt was the trauma of these poor things stuck on this hill... Forever. She began looking around, hoping to preoccupy her brain. She saw barbed wires caging in animals who bared the storm and all its hell. She watched as leaves flew past her in a haze of Autumnal distress, the shades of brown bringing new colour to the landscape of green and white. Her eyes attached themselves to the path ahead, focussing on every sharp rock she stumbled over. Planning every step she sunk into. They lost focus for a moment. Only a moment. They wandered away to a scene of momentary happiness on top of the hellish hill. Two sheep hiding from the rain under a large tree, lush in hanging green leaves. It had not yet fallen under the curse of winter. The scene of joy didn't last long as her eyes had stopped securing her safe journey and so she tripped on a jagged edge falling to the ground in a painful shriek. 

She blinked. She felt the heavy bag compressing her chest... Almost stopping her breathing. She blinked. With a sharp intake she rolled to her back. She blinked. Her body sunk deep into the flowing mud. She blinked. She could see the trickle of blood rolling down her broken hands, the openings like serrated mountains. She blinked and saw the wicked rock that had caused her fall. Her mind took pity on it. The hell of the hill had caused it to become evil too. Wearing it down to a point, storm after storm. Whilst the pain was immense she clambered (slowly) to her feet and kept walking with watchful eyes on the ground. 

She started to smell the salt from the red essence dripping of off her hand so she wiped it on her ripped trousers. She could smell the dirt deep in her nails, the mud hugging her clothes. It was a foul, putrid smell of anger, pain and depression. For this dirt was only looking for a way off of this hill. A new smell invaded her nose, it carried past her in the wave of the wind. The smell of something warm and comforting. The smell of memories from home, of happier times with family. The smell of freshly printed photographs in an album of good times. It was the smell of hot food, of something meaty and delicious. 

She looked ahead and she saw it. Her camp. In all its forlorn glory. Never had she been happier to see such a small tent in all her life. With new found strength in her bones she hurried to her tent and climbed inside as fast as her aching bones would allow. Peeling off layer after layer of frozen clothing before finally settling into new, dry material that hugged her with a sense of care. She pulled on thick new socks, they wrapped around her feet in an embrace of love. Waiting for her in a ceramic mahogany pot next to her sleeping bag was a concoction of hope, relief and comfort. Otherwise known as soup. 

She reached for the blazing pot, pouring herself a cup she drooled at the steam that whispered away from the liquid. Her eyes widened in disbelief that all was over as she poured the soothing cup of hot solace down her throat to heal all that the hill had done to her. The taste of assuage engulfed her senses as she savoured every flavourful burst dejectedly. Because whilst the soup could cure the physical pain, it could not save her heart that ached with anguish for the nature stuck on top of the hill.  

Duke of Edinburgh practice assessment!

Welcome to the hardest weekend of my life.... 

This weekend I did a practice assessment for dofe in which I learnt how to navigate a map, observe more around me and walk for a VERY long period of time. The weekend began in Saturday when we packed up our bags into a van and set off for Hemel Hempstead in which our assessment would begin. 

The journey wasn't very long and was very quite due to it being around 9 in the morning. When we arrived in was straight into battle mode, bags where unpacked, tents given out and the torture of moving stuff around in each other's bags in order to fit everything necessary in began. Finally we were done and our bags where loaded onto our shoulders and we began our VERY VERY VERY long walk. It started off fine, the weather was nice and sunny and our bags didn't seem to heavy but after the first half an hour and the first uphill a trench everyone was feeling the struggle. Our shoulders where being weighed down by the weight of our bags and sweat was dripping from us. We were clearly very unfit! 

The next stretch started off okay as well because we had a short break to catch our breaths and eat some food. Yet again after about 20 minutes we were all feeling the pain again, no matter how tight our bags where to our backs they weight still pulled at our shoulder muscles. We kept walking through and that's when the skies slowly darkend, the clouds drooped  and finally it began to rain heavily. We trudged through mud with rain coats wrapped around us right, many slipped and fell on endless fields and we were almost chased by a herd of cows. After a second break disaster struck as I slipped down a muddy slant on a hill twisting my ankle. 

After a quick bandage up and my obviously very supportive friends taking endless photos I was up and going again and we kept on walking ... Still in pain. The day seemed to go on and on, and the bags got heavier and heavier and we got more and more tired. We had a few laughs and tried to encourage eachother to keep going, the many farm animals we met along the way definetly kept us smiling! 

After almost reaching our destination we noticed that our route led to a moterway that we couldn't walk up so we had to figure out a different way to go. That didn't work out too well either as we got lost countless times and ended up trespassing on private land in which we where ushered away very quickly by a rude man. However we pulled together and got going figuring out where we were and best route home... When we finally reached the campsite. Exhaustion took over and we collapsed on the field, the other groups having gotten back 2 hours earlier then us. However their is no rest for the wicked as we had to get on with building tents and cooking dinner. The night didn't go very well because as you can imagine sleeping in a tent on the ground isn't very pleasant and my sleep was broken up a lot but I didn't manage to get a decent amount of sleep before morning. The next day wasn't looking too great for or group, we were covered in blisters and sadly lost a member of our group to another injury meaning we where one man down and needed to repack our bags again. After that was done and we had eaten something and packed up, we stared the shorter of the two routes and began walking. Whilst the pain in our feet was worse somehow the bags seemed less heavy and more manageable and so did the walking. Plus my new strategy was to keep my head down and keep walking, only talking to the group when we had to check the map. This worked very well as I felt time went quicker and I felt less pain but obviously missed out on talking with my friends.  We made quick progress with regular breaks and a more scenic area to walk through we were done in no time and where the first group back! 

The other two groups made it back shortly after us and finally we could make our way home. On our arrival most of us limped out of the van, our legs barely holding us up and our feet simmering with every step whilst most of us resembled the hunchback of notre dame, our shoulders so stiff and stuck in the same position. The recovery of the trip was torture, I slept for over 13 hours. Obviously physical exhausted but still my muscles aches but I found a hot bath really helped. Whilst the trip was hard and I didn't have much fun at the time. I'm very glad I went, I had so much fun with my friends and I'm so proud of myself for what I have achieved. Whilst I'm not to excited for my final assessment I know I can do it now. Plus I have learn so much and know more, so I think next time will still be hard but a lot more manageable.